Monthend Randomness: Harmless White Lies

Did you ask many questions when you were a child? If you are a parent to toddlers, you’d know that they ask the toughest questions. So what’s a parent to do? Chloe and Ashlyn are full of questions… Mr Chloe.Ash and I do our best to answer them in all honesty, hoping they will understand. When we don’t know the answers, we own up and get back to them after we find out. However, my parents did it differently. They got creative. To me, they were harmless white lies because we’d find out sooner or later… but still!!

 

 

White Lie 1

Q: Daddy, what are German measles?

A: Oh, measles are red spots and you’ll fall ill. The German measles are special because when you use a magnifying glass to look at the red spots, you’ll see a swastika sign!

At the clinic one day when I had measles, my mom asked our family doctor:

Mom: Oh dear, these are not German measles are they? I can’t see the swastika symbol…

Doc: *silence, blank stare, trying to figure out if it was a joke*

Mom: My husband told me that ….. (the whole story)

Doc: Hahahahahahahahah! *nearly fell off the chair*

As soon as my mom got out, she scolded my dad. It’s never occurred to her that Dad would lie about something like that and Dad never expected HER to be so gullible. It was funny though! (edited: My mom is a homemaker and she didn’t have proper education so she trusted dad with all her heart…)

 

White Lie 2

We had a family trip to Australia when I was 12 and my brother and I were curious about the face on their currency.

Q: Dad, who’s this on the ten dollar note?

A: Harry John Cock.

After the clinic and German measles fiasco, we did our own research and found out it was cock and bull again. Wow, Dad… so creative!

 

White Lie 3 (edited: I think I asked this when I was about 6)

Q: Mom, how did you give birth to us?

A: You were in my uterus and you just popped out one day (in Cantonese, uterus sounds the same as toe)

Q: Eew… we came out from your toe? Weren’t we flat then?

A: *hesitated* Yes, that’s why I had to blow you up like a balloon. See how big you are now?

Well, of course, I found out sooner or later. Mom said she didn’t know how to explain, so she just played along. Great.

 

White Lie 4 (last one… there are too many)

Q: Mom, what does a penis look like? **My brother also asked because we were like 6 and 8

A: Well…. it’s like one banana and two rambutans (rambutan: round/oval fruit with long spiky hairs)

Q: But how are they arranged? We can’t figure it out…

A: *silence* The banana can be on top or at the bottom

Q: Huh??

I found out when I was older through a picture in a medicine text book, and my brother found out soon after we asked the question. My dad carried him into the bathroom and showered together. I don’t think my brother cleaned much though… he was too busy laughing.

I hope you enjoyed this little episode. Did you experience anything similar? Do share! It would be fun!!!

 

xoxo Lily

 

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  • http://www.hannyrr.com Hanny Daforcena

    HAHAHAHHAHA

    So funneh!!!

    • Lily

      Glad you liked it. Don’t you have any stories of your own to share?

      • http://www.hannyrr.com Hanny Daforcena

        Actually I don’t have any because my mom is a science teacher and I read a lot of books heh heh heh. ^.^

        • Lily

          When I was a kid, I read a lot of fiction from fairy tales to suspense to mushy romance novels. I hope you didn’t have to read science books because your mom is a teacher, well, unless of course it’s your thing. School books were enough for me… and I was a straight A student anyway, so it didn’t bother anyone. Either way, no funny childhood moments? Aaawww… :-( My parents loved to play with us, and they told us the funniest stories (not necessarily the truth, but as kids, the stories were just so much fun!). I intend to keep the fun spirit in my own family so that my children will also think of me as their best friend, instead of only a strict mom!

          • http://www.hannyrr.com Hanny Daforcena

            I read EVERYTHING heh heh, including science books. Plus, I watched the Discovery Channel as much as I watched cartoons heh heh ^.^ It’s good that your parents have a good side of humor to them. My parents are typical Asian parents. Strict, and nothing else. >.<"

            Yes was straight A student as well. Funny childhood moment?

            Me: Mummy, when you're old, imma teach you to play the piano to show you how you're torturing me!

            • Lily

              Ah, different era. When I was only 6 to about 10, I still remember the screen being black and white. No internet either. But really, I never read anything other than fiction before I was 10 (when these questions were asked). Then, I loved encyclopedia for all the information… and that’s also when I found out my parents were playing with us. LOL!

  • Gin

    ROFL!!!!!!!!

    THIS MADE MY DAY LILY!

    SOOO FUNNY!

    surprisingly, i dont remember ever asking mum how i came to the world…

    i am such a boring child!

    • Lily

      Maybe my brother and I were just naughty. All these questions were asked before we were 12, and really, we were so innocent compared to those jaded at a very young age. When we were older, we did ask why they lied to us… and guess what my parents said? They said it was more fun than telling the truth which would just make us ask more questions… and they didn’t want that. Hahaha! Even until now, we joke about the silliest things :-D Those were the funniest answers I could remember, but it was all in good fun, nothing to make us look stupid or anything like that.

  • http://www.prettybeautiful.net xin

    heh when my sis was very young, i told her that it was all ants in those tea bags. and she had phobia of tea bags till she finally found out one day during her primary school day :) not a white lie…but it was fun !

    • Lily

      LOL! Playing tricks on siblings is so much fun… don’t even get me started on those stories… and yes, it IS still so much fun!!!! :-D

      • BooBooNinja

        Please tell us those stories!

        • Lily

          Oh, I’ll have to get his permission first, I think… We’ll see what can be done!

  • Sukie

    Haha! I really like your dad’s German measles joke! I did ask my mum about the ‘birds and the bees’ question but all she said was ‘it was a lot of love and the stork brought you here’ haha!

    Another white lie mum used on me was on food! Im not sure if anyone’s had this before.. It’s some Taiwanese white sausage, similar to the red Chinese sausages we have but this one’s made out of chicken. I never liked sausages as a child and mum had to say this is…

    ‘a special McDonalds sausage that we can only find at home’

    Needless to say I ate it happily! :D

    • Lily

      Oh, we get creative when it comes to getting the kids to eat too! And your Mom was very kind to tell you about storks. Mine told me that they were playing chase in the field and dad won so they got married. I’m surprised they aren’t left handed!

  • http://mybeautysample.com/ Becca @ The Beauty Sample

    LOL–this was really, really funny and cute. :)

    I don’t think I ever really asked any hard questions like this to my parents. I always preferred to try and figure it out myself…

    • Lily

      Oh it would be heaven to get a daughter like you, Becca! My 3 and 5 year Olds are already asking me impossible things! Lol!

  • BooBooNinja

    Ha ha! I love these.

    I don’t know if I ever saw “The King And I”, starring Yul Brynner, on video with my family or if the actor’s name found its way into an early memory because of its uniqueness. Regardless, I was a very young girl when I overheard my parents saying Yul Brynner had died from cancer. I didn’t want to interrupt my parents’ heavy conversation so I turned to my older brother.

    “What’s cancer?” I whispered.

    He looked at me solemnly and said: “It’s when a piece of Lego gets stuck in your throat.”

    I totally believed him. Yes, we grew up in an educated household, with tons of books and lots of science … but he’s my super smart older brother!

    • Lily

      Hahaha! Your brother sounds fun :-) It’s so much fun to pick on younger siblings, really. You little kiddos can make our day. Lol!

  • Liyeun

    White lie no.2 got me bursting out laughing!!! Lol.. Similarly, I think many of us would hv encountered white lie no.3… Worse yet, I only knew bout the truth when I was 14 in which few frens laughed at my ‘brilliant explaination’ on my birth. I was apparently taken out from my mom’s sole!

    • Lily

      Well, I’m glad to provide you with some entertainment ;-) Have you ever wondered what our reaction would be if our parents told us the truth and nothing but the truth? It might be a little too scary for us as toddlers and we won’t have stories like these to tell! Boring… Hahaha!